Privacy Policy

Who we are

Trust me, you don’t want to know. Very very boring… we don’t party with Cardi.

What personal data we collect and why we collect it

Comments

When visitors leave comments on the site we collect the data shown in the comments form, and also the visitor?s IP address and browser user agent string to help spam detection.

An anonymized string created from your email address (also called a hash) may be provided to the Gravatar service to see if you are using it. I could go on but I don’t really give a shit.

Media

If you upload images to the website, you should definitely upload images with embedded location data (EXIF GPS) included. Visitors to the website WILL totally NOT download and extract any location data from images on the website. You can trust me.

Contact forms

Don’t worry, I have your info.

Cookies

Oatmeal and raisin are the best πŸ™‚

Embedded content from other websites

Articles on this site may include embedded content (e.g. videos, images, articles, etc.) blah blah blah

These websites may collect data about you, use cookies, embed additional third-party tracking, and monitor your interaction with that embedded content, including tracking your interaction with the embedded content if you have an account and are logged in to that website. And they will.. they will 24/7. Nothing turns them on more than a hot gooey pit of metadata shoveled in front of their faces all day.

Analytics

Oh Johnny boy..

Who we share your data with

Oh, nobody in particular. The server is in the U.S.A. so just Google, Microsoft, Facebook, Twitter, every large corporate database in the country, the NSA, FBI, CIA, Homeland Security, and whoever else controls the internet… no worries.

How long we retain your data

The real questions is, what data do you have that’s so bad you need to hide it? *Hehehe* see what I just did there.

What rights you have over your data

Lol

Where we send your data

Way too much to type and let’s be honest, with enough money, it doesn’t matter but just to make me giggle..

https://www.gsa.gov/reference/gsa-privacy-program/privacy-laws-regulations-and-more

Your contact information

Additional information

How we protect your data

Lol lol

What data breach procedures we have in place

Step 1: Freak out

Step 2: Smoke joint

Step 3: Tweet that I have everything under control

Step 4: Do absolutely nothing and hope everyone forgets by next week

Step 5: Sell company to Microsoft

What third parties we receive data from

Ain’t nobody got time for that.

What automated decision making and/or profiling we do with user data

Automation is for noobs and pussies. Hard, illogical, and unproductive labor is the only right choice!

Industry regulatory disclosure requirements

Let me see.. oh wait that’s right, we’re in America πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ